THOSE French students rioting in the streets? That’s limbs, man. And we’re going to do the same because they’re right, school ...

A MAN who attempted to chat up a woman in a dog park has been outed as a loather of dogs pretty much immediately.

US politicians who could never understand how routinely farcical everyday life in the UK is are still insisting they know who ...

WHAT’S in a name? Well, if given to a child it can forever determine their position at the bottom end of Britain’s hierarchy.

AFTER Jon Bon Jovi successfully prevented a suicide attempt on a bridge, Radiohead’s Thom Yorke has attempted to do likewise with slightly less positive results. When the singer saw Charlotte Phelps ...

THE Conservatives’ vote-winning policy of abolishing inheritance tax has only a single flaw, which is that very, very few people will ever pay it. Across Britain, voters are examining the flagship ...

A WOMAN has hilariously given her boyfriend the illusion of choice while deciding which restaurant to eat at. Emma Bradford’s partner, Josh Hudson, was excited to be brought into the discussion, ...

SO, all this brown stuff just plopped out of my bottom and into the toilet. What should I do next? This is happening to me every day. I eat some food, then a few hours later I get this strange urge to ...

HARRY Kane has been acclaimed as the greatest England player to have won no trophies whatsoever since the inimitable Wayne Rooney. Last night’s win against Croatia saw Kane, already England’s all-time ...

CYBER criminals are threatening to tell M&S all about your secret addiction to buying cheap fast fashion from ASOS. Having bypassed ASOS’s on-brand poorly-made firewalls to steal your data, hackers ...

OLDER men looking to attract younger women have leapt onto the fake nipple trend and are wearing as many as 18 per outfit. The trend of wearing fake nipples to draw attention to your chest was ...

It’s a disgrace this isn’t already on the market after Deep Blue Sea (1999) explained all you need is brain juice out of a shark. Invest in an oversized syringe and go to your local Sea Life Centre.